Monday, February 23, 2009

Not Fair?

So I've been avdinog wrighitng this. Im not sure why mabby im scared of waht ill find. OR mabby the wrods are hard for me to boleve. Im not sure but ether way im wrting it now. So mea nd you both will see ware this takes us.

So i have a couple of friends. And i talk to them a lot. My piont is i also get the pleaser and blessing of listenign to thme (yes i like listening to peopl oh ym lanta)Throguh hearing both of there testimonys i have touhg thats not fair. Some of my frineds have experinced things that they shouldn't have to go through. THey did nothnigh wrong this isnt there falt it's not fair. THey dont diserve this it isnt fair. Witch then bring up the qusiotn ware is God?

I have oftne yelled in into the darknes of ngiht yelling at God. Asking Him why? I have had people tell me thats not fair about me.One of the things i found screaming at Goda obut in past ahs been someitnhg called dyslexia. Yep im a proud LDer well not always so proud but that isnt the piont of this blog. For thos of you who dont know dyslexia is simpley idont spell or read well. Im in the 4th percental for speliing wich means if im in a room with 99 people im the 100 only 4 of them spell worse then me. (Oh that enplanes a lot no wonder i cant read you're blogs half the time) Adn I've gotten amda obut it. I mean i ahve two incredibly inteligent older sisters. And then there is me. And i got amd cosue i wentto a privet school and i never felt likei got the help i needed. WHY HAVE YOU CURSED ME LORD.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." See the thing is Gods got a plane the reosn this is happening is coeus He ahs a plane. Now you tell an angrey 13 yearold that you wont get good roespons. So God wants me to hurt? Ok not exactly i tihnk im goignto pull out the big guns La Bible. (im very um idont knwowaht tonight) In John 9:1-7 it tlakes about a blind man. Adn back in the day if you were blind they hogh you had sinned or mama and daddy had sineed. So the disciples were like so Jesus who sineed? fill us in we want to know. Jesus beignt he cool dude he was said this “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him." Ok run with me for a second you're the blind sitting there envedibley hearing all of this. If iwas him i would jump up and be like waht do oyu mean ever always told me it was cosue of me or my parints what? Do think he was hpapy or mad?

MArk Hall (lead singer of casting crown) His testimony is at the botoom of this blog so if you ever get the chance lsiten to it. Its amsing I love lisintg to it. (sorry i ptomis ill link al lthes waht seem like ransode though together at the end) "satin hits one of thos buts and reminds me here is a million reosn you arnt good unuf ot do that" "I sure could ahve used 2 Coriths 12 theres a duw name paul heard of him? Paul start telling this story that he has butons in the back of his head too. To keep me form beocne consced beoceu of thes serpation revolaiton there was given to me a thorn in my flash and fro 3 days ai begged the Lord to take this fomr me" A thorn in my flesh. A button. YOu knwo waht im tlakingaoubt the thing that scares you or the thing that hurts you that thing you hid fomr ever one. THe thing that you're mask hids. (diffrent post) the thing you hate the tihng you dont think is unfair.

Some be asking cool nice story what do with anything you're crazy? I wont diny the fact I'm crazy i actually like that. Hears what I'm getting at. Im dylsexic and all thos nights igot mad aobut it one timeit became clear to me. If i wasnt dyslexic i woudnt know waht it was like to walk into a room and know you dont fit in. To sit with a group of peolpe and feal alone coues you fell liek you don't belonge. I realsed that if iwasnt dylseic i wouldn't have been able to tell people oh yeha i cna realt oh i knwo what that is like. Becoeu there are things i have strugeeld with tihngs i hurt with things that iahte that ahve killed me i can say oh i know what that feals like adn icna give someone soem oen to tlakto who might udnernst some of what they are saying some one who can show thme hay you cna make it through.

Hears waht im getting at. God ahs got a plane He didnt jsut throguh this at you and say ok um i inthk this will be relay cool to wach you strugil with He has got a plane. He has aperpos for ever opsticals oyu ahve in you're life a reason for it. I don't know what it is man i wish i did. But He promised He deos. This is my palne for you;re life. IT might be so His glory can shine through us like the blind man. "This is for My glory" Soemtimse God does tihngs in our lives to show us who He is show us howe grate He is. Adn toe riemtd us lean on ME im hear I'll always be ehar. Someof us (like me) are well stubern adn seomties the only wa for God to get our atteins is with oseiithg big. And i knwo that some timse i need got to through someitnhg in my face befor ilisten. Hay dude you're blind so i may be glorfied today. Hay you're ehaurting tso oyu leanr to dipend on me. HAy i did this so oyu knwo i am hear nad i care and im never leavin you

And someitmes God gives us pution thorns in our fleshg to remind us hay you're humman you need me. guess what i wnat you, but you need me. We need God. I know we go through life oh yeha im Big MAn (Woman) on Campis i rosk. Yeah oyu know what you got nothing God got everinthg ndont you evne start that man. God can turn i human into a salt piller i ant seen none of you all do that lattle now i have i. THe thing is you guys we cnat do tihs on our won i tried it and you knwo wahti got fomr it a nice asfalt burn fomr wehni crashed and BURNEd. YOU ARE HUMAN. You cant do it on oyu're won. MAn Paul didnt do it on his own. What youithnk you cna? No one is perfect and mabby that is why. MAbby that is the answer it is impoerfectoion the tihngs that hurt and Go d awt s us to lean o n HIm dipend on HIm and the thing is YOU ARNT GOD so you cant od it on you're own. IT sjtu dosnt wokr that way

You know lifeisnt awlays goingot work the way we want it. but i have ehard a quot beofr this isnt verbatum but any way "When life kiskes you down to you're knees you are in the perfect position to pray" Someimtes we ahve be on our knees befor we listne to GOd. Sometimes God sees in the futer im moving you cosue you need this perosn and this person needs you. And someitmes maggy jsut ambby God is saying lean on Me. Im the Rock im the umbrala in the rain. THe friends that enver leaves. THe love you always feal. Im the blanket on the cold days Someitmes Life donst seem dair, but realy who ever siad it was? LIfe is goingot hurt my friend. Life might kill soemtimse but whare you gona turn. Gone lean on you;re own strangth? OR stay on you're knees to pray? Gone keep dipeon on falty love? OR the love that cratedyou? Life iwll never be fair if it was wel lthey would call it........

Monday, February 9, 2009

If you realy knew me you would know.....

I was at church last night (saprise saprise me at church waht?) Any way and my youth paster had doe a hcaling daya t a local Middle school. And He talked about how they were in circals and they went around and said IF you realy knew me you would know and fill in the blank And they had to talk for 2 minuets and how he was just amsed with it. And it got me thinkg (it's ok no need to call the scientis and say the erath has roted soemithn it wrong becosue Dani si thinking) why not us?

For thos of you who now me you would know that casting crowns is one of my facrite badns. And if you ddint know that before well congrats new fact of the day. They ahve a song stain glass masquerade. Now for thos of you who dont know a mascer is one of thos dances ware the put masks on so you cant see there face. (My friend actually told me that no I'm not that smart) There is a link incase oyu ahvnet herd the song befor. The song talkes aobut the fact that even in church we play of masks. We make our slef loook perect. Adn we hid all the pain in our lifes. YOu go to Church nad people look perfect familys loook perfect. We hid everthing that happend in the wekek in hope that we look like we should to the church. We pray for evr one els but if word of us hurting sleepps we freak.

So whats the problum? Oh theres a big one. 8th grades can go around a circal and share waht is hurting thme to people they see ever day mabbey evne to people who hurt them. They tlaked infornt of a man and sadi thies depe felllings infonrt of a man they didnt enve know. But thne us Chrsitans were sopost o be brothers and sisters adn yet look at us we play out a mask ever tiem we walk in that door to the churhc. Thes 8th gradesr a grasping concepts that are so Biblecal that we dont ahve in our churcges. THers a quot from mark hlals testimony it goes someinth like this " I dont know hwo we were so blessed, but groiwing up we wnet to the perfect churhc. No body sinned. I eman oyou owuld go to pratyer time and it woudl be about heatrts and lungs, nopoed suted after anything there wast unfrogivien in any ones heart" THere is an ongoing dases spreding through our churhc its sikingin at the core. THe seis is satin is riding us of a saport system placed in by God. SAtin is hitintg our churhc adn spreding a dises that is sikining. The more sikining part we let it happen.

Jesus well lets talk about this dude. He hung out with the lost of the low. He chilled with the lepers, he talked with tax collectors he hung with the fisher men. He talked with the the woman who no one talked to. He let a prostitute wash his feet. He hung with the dude who was latter going to betray Him. He knew it about all of them and cared about all of them. His love for them was over whelming. He cared about thes people so much and He didn't judge them. He cared.

So what happened to us? What changes us from caring nonjudgmental Jesus followers. To Christens who hide behind a mask scared of being judged by our "brothers" and "sisters". Like i said before with love we let the world in. We let world tell us you can't be vulnerable with any one you might get hurt. You don't want them knowing about that. They'll just judge you, they'll ell everyone one, they'll just walk out. We listen to the voices and let them tell us how to live. We stopped trusting we stop loving.

What if we stopped playing of the mask? What if we let someone in? What if we aloud our self to be transparent with someone who had the same boleves as us, who cared about us? What if we stopped letting the church be a place of hiding our sins and a place what sinners get together and rejoice in the fact that they get mercy from God. What if we stopped hiding and started letting us shine through? We all sin and yet we think we need to hide behind the makses. What if we Filled in the blank and told someone. What if we let some one know the deepest and biggest hurt in our life. Mabby it's time for change. Change in poelp, change in chrisnte mabby we cna start chaigne the church. Mabby it;s time that we fill in the blank and tell someone adn allow our self to lvoe one and othere and help eachother and opray for eacother ambby its time. If you realy knew me you would know.......

Saturday, February 7, 2009

I have found that my alst blog creatad some confuseinog and that my ideas wert expressed they way iwanted thme to be. This could ahve been becosue i have goet o schol thne dibated and i was dead tired but thtats bisiendeth piont iwould lveo to clarify thogh.

Wha tiahve heard is that i meak it sound like we cnaahve the same Love God gives to hummens adn we hcna express it to hummena.s THat isnwt what iwas tring to say at all. What iwas saiyng is God amde and creat this lvoe betweeen humans one that is selfeles love but the problum was we corupted it we took it and we messed with it and now we end up with this earthly love ith s love that is shalw and often bring us to more pain and missery thne it does anyitnhg els this earlthly lve that is the one that we see the flash backes of the pain in. What i msaiyng is that we can ibtain alove that God madee the one he realy wants us to have and the one that is the love that fills the need for humman to humne realtionships.

Um i ohpe ths calrified wahtiw as saying rleay ithnk we cna have the lvoe Paul tlkaesa aoubt in 1 Coithns 13 if we let God lead us in it and keep our eyes on him. I hope that calrifes

Friday, February 6, 2009

Fear in love Love in fear

Love for soem the words brings smiles for others the word brings tears ads still other the word bing pain and fear. All of us have experinsed lvoe at some piont intime the realy qsit is waht type. I have afnried who i meat jsut a few mothughs ago.Anda i have a nther frined who I have bne finreds iwth for 3 yers ago. My one finred i meat 3 years ago i say ilvoe oyu to. But my finred ameat this past year i havent said that ot her once. It's i odnt care aobut her i do. It's not she dont matter she does IT isnt that she isnt important to me she is. So what stops me? Why don't i? FEAR.

Love is something that has been coruupted ang changed so much. "I love you're shoes" And neve if we use love i nthe contesct of ahumen how long does it last? IF you're in idllde school a long resltship is 1 weewk in highs school a mouth or two. And in thos relationsihp I lveoy ou is said more itmes thnen cna be counted. (other things are shared to but that a blog fora diffrent day) And thne we are left with Broken hearts "He sad he loved me i though i meant it. Some of us have peront who say they lve us and then just hurt us. WE hear i lvoe you but to us it ahs bee ocme a corupt word ware when soemone says i love oyu flash backs of moments of pain ocme to mind. We tell frneds we lvoe them and then they leave and we find our self hurt and mroe lost thne befor. So what hpapend ot he word LOVE

"LOve is paitin, lvoe is kinda it dosnt not enve it dos not bost it is not proud it is not rude it is not self seeking lvoe keeps no recerd of wrong, Love dos not delight in eveil but rrejoces with the rtruth, it always protexcts always hopes always persevers" ! Corithians 13 is claled the love chapeter of the Bible. PAul spelles out love. He tells us waht love rleay is. Sow aht hpapend to that lvoe. Why has it chaged soe much? Humans thats why.

See Way bakc in the day of you're grate grate grate grate grat grate grate grate grgeate grate grate grate grate( conting 100 more itmS) grandad and dranmamy adam and Ev there was this pure hole love that existed. THis Love came ofmr God see Adam and Ev wore ocmepley dipendont on GOd and there reslaitonsihp ahd alvoe that was crazy redisucles. But as tiem went on we straid and iths lvoe that was shown started ot beomce corupt. This love meant less and less and was farther and farther fmort he love Paul discibes. Now peole say ilvoe you nad thne beat you peole say i lvoe you and thne they brake you're ehart. This love is not one that Paul dsicirebed we ahve chaged it so much ofmr waht it could do in that we ahve couseed the good emsit to become bad. Ane mesiot that was sopos to mean so much good now cosues fear adn pain. We stoped youisng the words to mean i care ofr you i dont wato hurt you if you ask for forgivine ill give it im not going to tlak aout on you im not goignot just leave im her for the long wrong weh noyu need me im hear I wiol br patin with you i wil be kinda im not goingot be jeslouse of you im going to care ofr oyu and be hear for you. Adnw e hcange itinto i like oyu if you do this and iths and i dont care if ihurt you. So wahta re we to do?

I choose to stop this earthly lvoe and Chosoe the love God wants. chisoe thnat wehn itell soe one i lvoe them i am thinking of 1 Corinthians 13 and that that isaht i eman. I hear by bledge that the peopl i say i lvoe you to are the people i truly care for and I pleadge that lvoe i give will be the type corm 1 Corinths 13. Irtunr my back on the worldly lvoe and rpay and hope to give the Love God intnede.

Fear of bieng hrut for saing i lvoe oyu iwll always be ther for me i dont. Love is scare to give couse yo uare ginv a pieace of you. But i pray that the lvoe i give with never be a scarey lvoe ot reseve adn that iwilll never force someone to love me but they will choose wehn they are read. LEt lvoe be a Godthing and onr aworldy thing and see what Godw ill use it for I fear in love but i Love in fear. Let this change