Wednesday, February 16, 2011

“Well fellas its been a pleaser eating with you. But I have pations to attend to” Without mission a beat Jillion gives me a disheartened look.
“You didn’t live easting with me?” Jillion sadly proclaims.
“I uh I never said that” I give a half hearted smirk and depart before Jillion can say another word. The hot sun feels nice agents my back warming me back up after the cold shower I unwillingly took. Half way to the med tent I hear footsteps fast approaching me from behind. I was trained to never look back always look ahead but know exactly where the person is come from. 20 feet, 15 feet, there steps were consistent and light, 10 feet, there intend target is me, 5 feet. Just as my attacker believes I am in reach I take two swift steps to the side. My attacker collapse to the ground unaware of how they got from perfect attack to face first on the ground.
“You can’t sneak up on a solder you should know better than that” I look down at the mess of a person that now lays on the ground. “Give me your hand” As the attacker turn over and looks at me I recognize them emideltly.
“Jillion. What do you think you are doing?” Jillion grapes on to my out stretched hand as I yank her of the ground.
“I was trying to sneak up on you” Jillion began brushing herself of. I shake my head in disbelief
“Running is not the best way to sneak up on people you know” I gestured to a few spots Jillion had missed in whipping herself of
“I know” Jillion replied as if I was scolding her.
“Now come one you need those cuts cleanse up. Your clumsiness just errand you a spot in the medical tent” I wave my hand toward the medical tent as Jillion investigates the cuts on her arms.
“Its not my fault that you can’t be snuck up on” Jillion draggs her feet fallowing me to the medical tent.

The cool breeze came in from the ocean and hit softly agents my face. The night had been perfect. Now I leaning agents my bike waiting for Amanda to come back from another trip to the bathroom. The ocean waves maid a steady beat as they hit time after time agents the shore line. I heard soft footsteps approaching me from behind. They were careful to not making too much noise. I could hear them placing their foot partially down then lifting it due to the noise it would create. The soft footsteps only maid half noses as they grew closer. They were gentle and it only took listening to a few steps for me to know who my attacker was. The footsteps stopped and I felt Amanda’s body collide agents’ mine as her arms wrapped around my neck
“You didn’t jump” Amanda disappointedly said I turned round to face her.
“I’m sorry it’s kind of hard to scare me” I gave her a half smile. Amanda looked at me smiling some so the moon light sparkled of her eyes.
“I beat I can surprise you” Amanda almost sang.
“Oh really” I raised my eyebrows calinging what she thought was an easy task. “How do you plane on” Before I could finish my sentence Amanda answered the question I hadn’t even finished asking. She leaned over my bike standing on her tip toes and softly kissed my check. My face suddenly felt on fire and color rivaled the redness of the back of a man who didn’t put on sun screen and fell asleep in the hot summer sun for five horse.
“So I might not be able to scare you, but I sure can surprise you.” Amanda smiled widely at what she had done. I tried with all my might to turn my face back to its normal color.
“I um” I cleared my throught tying to regain any composer I had. “Why don’t you get your helmet on” I passed Amanda her helmet slipped mine on We both slid on to the bike Amanda gentle griped round me as we took off.

“Nurse Karen “ I walk into the bussing medical tent. “Do you think you could clean up Copral Jillion” I hear the sigh from behind me. “Do you have a problem with that Copral?” Jillions antics are getting tiring and my pations for her as all but gone.
“Its just I was hoping to have you take a look at them thats all” I turn facing Jillion this game has to end now.
“I have patents to attend to. Ones who got hurt in battle, not tripping on gravel. So you are being left in the overly capable hands oh Nurse Karen” I turn away from Jillion heading to my patients. I hear her grumbling as she sites on the bed watching me walk away

I pulled in to Amanda’s apartment complex parking my bike. I throw down the kick stand wall turning of the engine. Amanda kept her arms wrapped around me a little longer then she truly had to before she slid of standing in front of me her helmet still bobbing on her head. I gently reached my hand under and undid the strap lifting the helmet of her head.
“There you are safe and sound” I only lifted the visor to my helmet smiling at Amanda.
“Thank you for a great night Taylor” Amanda flashed me a full smile all her teeth shining. “How can I ever repay you?”
“Go out with me agene some times” I spoke before I could think about what I had said. It was now Amanda’s turn for her face to turn red.
“I would love that” Amanda turned away from me her still wet hair swishing swiftly from side to side as I watched her walk away

I stand in the middle of the medical tent updating patent charts.
“Taylor” a small soft voice calls my name gently tapping my shoulder. I turn only to see Jillion looking down uncomfortably. “Do you think we could talk about side” Jillion kept her head down acting like a child who was going to be taken out back and wiped.
“Fine” I gestured toward the door and fallow Jillion out and around the door to an empty path between tents. “What is going on Jillion” She finally picks up her eyes looking at me.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to annoy you” She specks soft and slow. “It’s just your so nice and I kind of like you” Kind of seemed to be a bit of an understatement
“Jillion you know I’m engaged and you know that’s not appropriate at all” I cross my arms agents’ my chest to tell her there is no chance .
“I know I just I just wanted you to know.” Jillion gives me a week smile. “I’m sorry” Jillion sadly looks at me extending her arms. I step forward letting Jillion slid her arms acwerdly around me as I place one arm around her body allowing her to fit awkwardly in my arms. Jillion snuggles in to me and squeezes as I drop my arms from around her. Jillion lifts her head away for me and gives me the look that means I want to kiss you. Jillion raises herself on her tip toes.
“Jillion no. We talked about this its not going to happen” I break loose from Jillion tarring myself away from what was almost a vipers kiss.

I sat on my bike thinking only of the night I had just had. Amanda helmet still in my hand. I slowly got of my bike attaching the now extra helmet to my bike. As I started to latch the helmet on I noted the wet back pack that sat atop my bike. I smiled alittle and then it hit me. Amanda’s clothes. I quickly grapped the cell phone out of my pocket dialing Amanda’s number
“Hello” Amanda voice came through sounding a little surprised
“You left your cloths in my back pack” I found myself a little nerves on the phone with Amanda.
“Oh yeah oh man. Do you think you could bring them up for me?” Amanda voice was sweet and gentle.
“Um, yeah sure” I was surprised at her request but I ventured up to her apartment and knocked softly at the door. I was meat by Amanda her hair now tied up in a bum. She still wore my baggy clothes that seemed to barley hang of her body.
“There you are Miss. Amanda cloths deliver” I grinned at Amanda handing her cloths over.
“I do think you are the cutest delivery person I have ever seen” Amanda giggled as my face turned red.
“You know you’re not the only one who can do that right” I said giveing Amanda a devilish look.
“No I’m pretty sure I am” Amanda added a bit of sass to her statement as she took the cloths out of my hands.
“Oh really” I smirked a little wider and then leaned in and softly kissed Amanda on the cheek. I smiled at her as I pulled away “You not the only one who can do that.” Amanda face was bright red as I turned looking over my shoulder and proclaimed “Oh and keep the cloths they look good on you.” I gave Amanda a huge smile as I walked away having given an Angle a kiss.

My feet pound agents the gravel as I angrily head back to the medical tent. The sun betting down on my already hot head. War is fifty percent physical and fifty percent mental. They forget to tell you in basic though that when you are diploid you don’t just fight the anomy you fight your own mind to keep your thoughts on the present. And no one ever told me I would have to fight solders that are in my own camp

Sunday, March 28, 2010


I’m at my sisters apartment for my spring break. I’ve been here for around 2 days and I've already learned something. Me and her were watching Life. No not the bored game. No not the cereal Its a TV show esenctly plant earth. But orphan Winfree as the hostess(not sure that what you would call her). It was an episode on the ocean. And let me tell you some of these animals were UGLY. I’m talking long neck dinosaur looking creatures with eggs of them. I’m talking about fish that eat mud and ones that look like a mix between a frog a snake and a fish, but fight like a reptile maybe. It opens its mouth as wide as it will go and just charges. But man alive were some of these animals ugly.

Genesis 1
"And God said, "Let the water teem with living creature hanging s, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky." 21 So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22 God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth." 23 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day."
I personal think some animals and fish and even birds are not only revolting in sight but also smell. I think there ugly and stupid and wonder why they have to live on the earth. But on the fifth day when God was done with it all he sat back patted Him self on the back and say man this looks good yahhhhhhh boy. And this humble puts me in my spot and reminds me "Dani you are on crack and don't know what the crap beauty is" See the thing is God maid ever single creator and maid them look just the way he wanted. See He didn't see this fish and go of crap that’s ugly ah to lazy to fix it. God maid ever single fish and ever single creature just the way he wanted it to look. He made them BEAUTIFUL in his eyes those fish are the most BEAUTIFUL thing to Him.

Genius 1
26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, [b] and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

29 Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so.

31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

God gave man and create there same exact command be fruitful and multiply. The difference though is God maid man have control over the creatures of the earth. That is not my point though. He did the same thing with humans as animals he sat back patted him self on the back and said man i done good. Look at the fine job. But humans weren't just good to God. OH no they were Very good so to put this in more modern terms. creates work like BEAUTIFUL. But humans they were HOT i mean a number 10 and the hot scale. now as vulgar as all of this sounds its not relay what God was thinking but simply an image to present. I think we have lost how significant the word very can change a sentience. This word brake up the monotony. When he created man and woman it was no longer this simply I want this I speak it I create it it was good. No when God maid man and woman he formed them he molded them he didn't just speak it. It would be like this. God painted the creatures on the earth he drew the creatures He maid them and they look grate. But with man he took His own two hands he held them in it. He got the dirt on his hands. And for the time it took him to make the, there was nothing between God and man. He held them in his two hands and formed them He didn’t just speak it he sculpted it. He wasn’t the Boss on the top story saying make this. He was the one making it. Did you notice how much longer it is with God explaining the formation of man compared to the formation of creatures. ? God dint absent-mindedly make man and woman. He thoughtfully formed them. He dint just speak it HE took his own two HOLY hands and formed them. Now it sounds like I’m beating a dead horse but for you to understand what I’m going to say next you have to understand this difference. And also the difference in the word very good verses simply good. It is essentially the difference between the word wicked and nice. Now if you don’t know what the word wicked means you live under a rock. Or you have been coned into thinking that the English langig should never change and wicked is a word that is hilly beneath your superior intellect. Ether way it means one gazillion times better then nice. And that very in the bible meant exactly the same thing. God maid us and we weren’t just Good we were wicked good.

Genius 2
25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

God created us and we were BEUTIFUL they way we were we weren’t just nice because of the cloths and jewelry or make up. No they were naked no cloths no make up no jeweler. The beauty that was being held that day was natural. It was pure beauty. It wasn’t because they took seven hours to look good. They didn’t sow the best leafs together and make sure they went well with there perfection. No they were naked and pure and BEUTIFUL because that is how God maid them. Now you know that like all things in life man and Woman (yes both of them did it because Adam was there with eve and wasn’t tricked into eating the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. You want my reasoning for saying that just ask ill tell you) fail God and they sin. I’m pretty sure it was some time after that faithful day when they sawed fig leafs together. And God then replaced it with animal skin the phrase does this make me look fat came into play. Hopefully Adam was smart unuf to answer it correctly and say no.

Genius 3
10 He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."
11 And he said, "Who told you that you were naked?

This conversation truly shows how it was sops to be. We were sops to be naked and pure and the way God maid us. Because the way He maid us was Beautiful and in no need of any other extra accessories to make us Beautiful. And I think that is why God maid man and woman un aware of there nakedness. He knew the second they saw themselves they would see a tainted picture. Sin that day didn’t just creep in to actions but into the eyes of man. As Eve sat there with Adam sowing fig leaves together they were ashamed. Not because God made something ugly but because there eyes had now become tented. They had experiences turbidity and it wasn’t dissipating.

Their story though is ours. Ever sense that day we still have turbidity floating in our eyes and it is not dissipating. We see a tented image of a beautiful thing God has created. We think we need the clothing and make up and jeweler to make our self’s beautiful. When relay BUETIY is really just pure nakedness. No I’m not saying room around naked because that will surly have you arrested. But in a world ware media is sending pictures of woman who are less the size zero and men whose muscles bulge so much they can’t be contained in shirts. Where pimples and crazy hair don’t exist we forget the pure naked beauty. I have seen people butcher them self’s piece by piece and rent about how this is to big and this is to small. I’ll admit I do it. I have big shoulders witch makes it difficult to find collard shirts that fit me ever ware without cutting of the blood flow to my arms. But my shoulders are good for the manual labor I do. When God maid me He sat back patted his self on the back and said man I done good. And if he can do that with me he can do it with any one. I mean get real I’m dyslexic have a lazy eye, have knee problems have abnormally large feet for my height and have a face that sometimes loves to brake out. But when God maid me when He took his two hand and sculpted me He said this is very good. And He did the same with you.

Our picture of beauty has been tainted by media generations before us people before us and for some there own family. We like I did with the fish go oh man that ugly. But God looks and says It is good. Not just good very good. When sin entered the world so did ugly. Before sin there was no such things as skinny fat tall or short. There was no discrimination because you weren’t type A. It was naked pure beauty. It wasn’t because of cloths or jewelry or make up that Adam and Eve look fine it was because God maid them that way. And God dint change the design after that in his punishment on mad kind he dint say and now you will all be ugly. The natural beauty God placed on Adam and Eve that day still runs true through us many years later. It isn’t the dising that changed but the way people view it. The turbidity that has clouded up our eyes tainted they way we view our self’s and its time we clan it out. I’m not going to tell you how to do that, because God moves with ever one in different ways. I don’t know how he will show you that He did indeed make you BEUTIFUL. It may just be time to look in the mirror stop listening to the world’s version of beauty and look at what God holds. I’m not sure how He will move to show you He maid you BEUTIFUL but i pray you will open your heart to it. Because I guaranty you if you let God in He is coming in.

So that fish yeah maybe I don’t think it looks to nice. And maybe I’m not way into how its eyes are colored. But God is. Worldly beauty is futile and fleeting But Godly BEUTY is forever. That fish looks good to another fish is what I can tell you. Now weather the other fish wants guppies or dinner I cant tell you. But what I can say is these fish are beautiful God spoke them into the world. And humans ware formed by Gods holy hand, WE ARE VERY BEUTIFUL.

Sunday, February 14, 2010


I wont apoligs for not wrighting in a long while i care not to draw out a stor aoubt it or even alberat on why.. Truth is i simpley have no time. If you need more thne that then ask me.

I asked a frined a question today as she started sorting through the stacks of colliger infermation she needed now to narow donwn. I asked to do oyu feal calleld to be in ministry. I new the answer beofr she siad it but i also know how she woudl resoponds. Well im not good with people im not thins im not that so no. The problum was that wasnt my quesiton. I aksed her if she felt a call not if she thought shw as a equped for it.

My frind demistrates soetinh that hppanes all the time. We telll our selfs we arnt being called to something simpley beocuse we do not feal equiped. And the truth of the matter is. If God is calling you to it He willequip you for it. But Dani you dont get it God is claling to me to crazy stuff He want s me to fly across the world and eat worm and tlak in a tong i never have beofr and dani dont learn forin langiges well. Well my friend im gladd you brought that up i would like to share with you some things i think you sohuld know, or a sapos people you souhld knnow.

First Moses. Yes yes Moses diivers the people formt he promis land. But lets look alittle dipper. Moses wasnt even part of pharso real family. And the people who he actul was born from tunred agenst him becosue he got the royeal tremamet. Not menchin he was an out cast from pharo after he killed a solder diffending a slave. Then he goes to live the simple life in the wilderness. That all fine and dandy til la burn bush that isnt relay burning tell him to welll her let em just play this out for you insted
Hay moses
Waht the camil
Dotnb e scared, jsut tkae a deep breath, its me God
Um i uh um uh ui just i uh
You know God of iseral
Yha i un
Well ok i know you knw who i ma so imj sut goignot go on
Well but i uh
Heres the deal you knwo my peole te isrelats and your botheres and sister well there being opressed and im not to kean on that and theve benen praying adn its time for them to be done with all this.
um i uh uha
Andi wna toyu to go toalk to pharo you knwo no biggy and tlel hm to well leet my people go
Butttttn GGGGod IIII weLLLLL i uh kinDDDDa SSSSSStuter.
Um Moses Im God hellllllllllllooooooo
WELLL buuuuut i CCCCCCCant
Moses im God woudnt clalyou if i didnt think you could

Ok now that not exxacly or realy how it went. But the piont is God is usieng Moses the Guy who stuters to speack throguh to a hole Nation. A NATION.

Next on the list Saul turn Paul. Well now lets ee. He was a well how do i put this iwth out stepppung on any toes a Chrsitne killer. He went aroudn and kileld christne s for there relligion. But you know all thos books in the bible like ther eltter to the Romans or the churhc in Ephesion or what ever els. Yeah well Saul turn Paul wrought thos. So God used aChrsuten killer tunred him aroudn and maid hima hug influnece for GOd ok.

And my last exmpy and i asum my least favrit is me. Im just goignto though this litlte peace of iriony out there. Ok God is useing me to wright a blog. Wow dani ironc. no it gets better. Im 17. Ok a little more intresting. Wait there mroe. Im dyslexic. Ha hA wait waht. Yeah like you didnt already think soemitnhg was messed up. Ok so wait let me get this striagh God is usieng a 17 yearold who has trouble spelling to wright a BLog. Um yep that how it is. IRonnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Ok so what s the piont of all of this. I jsut gave you 3 of the countless exampleys of people God has used to do what He wanted done. Adn thease arnt jsut people thease are people who i cna beat and in my case garinty did not boelve they were equoiped for the job. The funny thing is God knew they were and He used them. And in Moses and Pauls case o change history.

So i have a quesoint. Can you Gods mind? How cna you thne say i ma not equiped ofr this. Being equiped isnt about what o think your abilitys are but wht abilties God ahs put in oyu. Adn the ttuth of the mater is only God knwo what all of thos abilitys are. If we sit aroudn and let what we rhink we are equiped to do dicatat our lives thenw e will never acomplish aytihng. But if we alow God to dicatet what we are equiped for then we have the ability to do grate tihngs. If God is claling you to it He will equip oyu for it. What is He claling you to?

Monday, August 17, 2009

Shamls Worship

When i was in middle school i ended up (ok my youth paster dragged me into) playing for are youth group band. IT was an asum experinse that ill never forget. I got to play infront of a Winter Camp, i got to play on wesdays and sundays, and alsp got multible optunitys to play infront of the big churhc. THe thing ill rember tohugh more thne that is Reda.

Reda is a girl who is in my little sister grade. A family in the church had adopted her fomr Russia. REda is a sweat heart seh loves and cared. She always has energy she loves dogs.I rember one time are youth pasters wife was reconginsing peope for things she admired in them. And i odnt rember what she said aobut Reda i boelve it was osemitnhg to do with REda could always put a smile on you;re face or someinth likethat. But i rembmer Reda jsut crying. She wasnt ashemed. Reda is also saverly autistic. But ther is soemithng she has i waish i had.

So ever wesday we would get up ther and play musice what ever Aaron had piked out. No matter what was going on thoug there was someihtng that was always garinted it was Reda standingt her and she woudnt dace but she would sway fomr side to side so mithotic almost hipnoticley (is that a word?) IT didnt matter who was standing around her it didnt matter whare she was stadnig she would always sway. She would shamlisley worship God. She was never scared of answer a qustion infront of the group or anything like that. She was shamless in her worship for God.

You know there are people in the Bible who were shamess in ther worship. Daniel neer stoped praying evne when it was out lawed and he was thorugh in a Lions dean He SHAMLESSLEY prayed to God. He didnt care who heard he was SHAMLESS. Me shak rad shak and abendigo (atlest thos are ther names or the veggie tale version of ther names) were SHAMLESS In worshiping God by diney idels. THey resuded to bow donw adn didnt care who new. THe SHAMLESLEY gave them selfs to God and wroshiped sHAMLESSLEy

Some of me wonder waht would happen if we SHAMLESSLEY worshiped. Sitting infront of big churhc adn playing my guitars it funny to see people worship some are so scred and other are putting it all out there. I woudner what i churhc owudl be like that woudnt care wether stood or sat or neald or anythin. I wounder if that the churhc whare God s wil nca trule be done. I tihnk to surender outr slefs to God we need to shamlessley worship we need to not care what peope think when we get doen with God and start crying. Whne we starting rasing our hand s upove our heads cosue we have this undinaiable diser to love God. What if we dancer os swaid in the eles becoeus when we felt close to God. I tihnk the wrold distracts us far to much fomr God and we have alourd it to even controml our owrishp cosue we hace the selfish diserv of looking good infonrt of our finrds oure pers (please dont tel me im alone in this) MAbby its time that chenges and we shemlesley start to worship

I will never forget REda nad i also wil never forget waht are musice directer PAstor Ann once said befor we went outnon stage. "You arnt playing for thme youre not playing ofr the people out ther you're playing for God and him alone" What if worship was no lgoer aoubt looking good looking all to geth or loking like we were close to God waht if it was aobut getting clsoe to God and not careing what any one and ever one though of us mabby its time for SHAMLESS WRORSHIP

Friday, July 31, 2009

Being a Kid

Its funny we make the simpleist thing in the worldthe most complicated thing ever. See I itnhk we make God more complicated then he actuly is. IS it reakly that we arnt working ahrd uniuf to concet with God. Is it realy that Gods love ahs concatensions? Is it realy the fact that God has rules and things we must do. Or is it that some whare along the way we tried to make God human and in the prosses we made me so complicated that we lost who God is? Was it realy God pulling away or was it us making Him so compliated we pulled away.

I love the frase “child like faith”. Kids drawing I think is the most beautiful art ever. The thing is there so creative. The draw what they see, but the draw it there way. If they think the fground I blue then that’s what they draw. They don’t care what is thought of thme because of that. They draw what they see as beutful. Some whatre alone the line we loose that some what re along the line we forget that. And a childs love. If any one has aever picked up a crying kid who was just hurt and help thme wall the grapped you around you’re kneeckand they cryed in ur arms. Oh man that that I tkn is one of thos sifght and feallins I will never get tired of fealing. But some wahtre aog the line someone told us that crying was for little kids and that we had to be tuff that we shoudnt cry becosue where big girls and boys whp don’t need to hurt. SO some what we lost that the openis of children. Have you ever seen a child dothe stupid things jumping bieks, jumping out of tress, the things that we now deam stupid and idotic but to thme are the exiting things. I have scares all over em formthos things. Or evern plying imaginar. Oh my have you ever had a little kid pull you over for a tee part or event to show you what they have made up what they have plane out in there head. The imagination everinthg of children someno wahtre we lost that all. A childs love have you ever exprinssed that when the smile art you when they have this love tht thell be mad at you and two mintes latter love you no matter what. And fiath nand trust have you ever listen to a lidl kid whos pairnt left. No dad/mom will come back thell come back. They are relentless they don’t give up the always have fiath. Some whare somhom we lost that we were hurt and we lost that. We lost it all.

You know in Bible times and still now children were looked and are looked down apun. As humans we learn nothing fomr who have nothing to offer. I don’t think that is true. I think children can help lead us backto this God we lsot so long ago this God we almost think we need to jump though hoops for that’s love we some how maid sonditional. Some one we have to reach for instedd of Him touching us.

A childs imagination is amsing its simple and yet its like walking in through the wordrrop in the line the witch nad the wordrop. WE end up in a plave we never though otf one we never dreamed off. One that we cnat conmprhend. See this world is almost magical and yet so beutifu;. I think we try to oftn to put God in a box. We have little imagination andso we put God in this boc that we see he can fit in. The thing is He dsont fit there WE take away chariteristics of him by doing that We take away His essince what He is and can be and we make him to this thing we ca imagin we can make fit us. The thing is its not God who is meiisng a pieace its us and God s the one to fit it we cnat make him t way we ant him or He wont do what he is sopos to do . And we stoped that not Him we did. We have taken this God who made aunivers and put Him into soemtihng we wanted witch donst worck Thats not who God is.

Going bkac ot children and stupid things they do. See God He askes us to do what we think are crazy things. THigns tha tare stapping out of our confert zone, but the ithng is we can learn form Children. There fearless ness for new experinces. They boelve they can fly, and sometime that just what God aske s u pto boleve. I mena He asked Peter to tlwalk on whater. The diffrnetce is we arnt invincible Childran almost alwaysthink they are see we arnt but the God we serve well He is. He we have this irrational fear of give up control. You ever sen a child do what mommy and daddy told thme to do see that, that is givineg up control. Sayig you know better then me mommy and daddy ill go do it. Whare in the sitnkin world did we losoe that cosue we tlel God al lthe tiem no God I know better then you and oyu know what that’s not true. See the thing is thos two combing a fearless and a give up of control are a deadly combo for the devil. If we stop getting scare dso msuch of what God is goingot dowith us and instead we giv eupp control that is the compo of Christnans who change the world change ther cies change ther churches.

Children are funny whe n it oces to love. Oje mint achild is saying you are a dumb dumb I hate you. And then net ther huggin oyu aroeudn the neck and kissing you on the check. See that’s the thing ther love is uncondintinal. What if we had unconditnale lover. WE think to ouer slef all the tiem I cnat love thme beocues……. There this or that or couse im scare of getting hurt. You put smoeithng in the blank. But I can tlel you soetinhg the purist love is the one that sunconidnalt the one that say I don’t care what you look likei don’t care if ill get hurt I don’t care youre race I don’t care how you dress I don’t care anything. See children are funny whent hey love once they love you they love you. There the ones who want you to uck tnhe oin at night just so they vna get that last hug. What if we longed to be able to love ever one. To love always. See that is a deadly combo for thos who wnatt to slam Christan when you thorugh words of hate at some one nad they return it with lover the Bible says theat burnging coles on ther head. What if we stoped orur love with rues and loved unconditionally?

One ihn I hanvet talked aoubt yet is shamless ness and opness of Children. See when yo were little you dint car eaht people though. My older sister newly married when she was little dimand to be called princess Jasmin, her name is ashly. I had asoccer couch once who whne they were little mother let thme go to the bust stop to pick up there siblings with out a shirt on. Her name is Mary. When I was ltlte and was asked what I wanted to be whe I grew up I sad a boy. I have seens grown out of that. The point is all thease crazy storys is that cihldrne don’t car ehwat peoapl think of thme. THell walk out fo th e house ina rian cout and flip flops with striped pains that lime green and think there the cutest thing ever. Some whare though people stated telling us to grow up so we started careing what they though. I;ve learnds omthig I to some poel am offensive see I don’t dress normal to thme I don’t do what they want. This relatinship we have to some is offensive. The croos to some is offensive. And we get scared so we hide it we hid the raltinsihp we have th our Creater nad we loose someinthg. Shamless what if we had shamless fiath in God. WE didn’t care if peole though we were crazy or told us we were ideats But we jut boelved. See shamless fiath is death sentince for thos who want to tell us God isn’t there.

So Children teach us how to kill thos who hate us. No no im just mesisng. But do oyu get it Children ithnk some tiems get what we don’t oaobut God. I was at a retreet with my churc and a paster said him and his wife had tlakth ther young sung to pray dna one night they ahd hHim pray and ther sun prayed “um mommy um daddy um pizzzzzza” They beuty is in the ismplisity. Children understand that God isn’t complicated. God isn’t this thing that is so far away and who has so meany ruels we cnat keep up. The sim[plisity of children inthk unlookes osme of the things we have lost in God. When playing soccer a coush wil tlel you a pass back to defender on oyu;re side isn’t a loose. Ever sen a picture that is huger nad need to step back to look at it? See soemtiesm stepping bkac sint bad sometimes we need to look throught diffrnet eyes even a childs for ust o see what were missing. “Let the little children come ot ME” Lets bore hot coels on the heatds od thos who hate us let us kil the decil let us shock thos who are offended by us. Let us turn bkac to childhood.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Truth

So I had a friend tell me today that they sohuld trust em wehn i say im ok, and i thought aobut that for jsut a mint and i though how messed up that was. Not the fact that she is trying to trust me but that she is trusting me. For thos of you who know me you owuld know i have trust ishues i like to be privet nad kepe things to my self and trusting people well that is wiked hard for me to do. To the piont of if there i s eomtihng whare some one needs to be cared i will carey the other perosn even if there bigger then me. Witch bringds me to this am i truly lvoing and cna i truly be part of the body with out bing albe to trust others adn not lieing tp poeple

Lets take this one at a time im going ith the lieing one first. Ok ill admit it i have a nasty habbit of lieing. I relay do i lie aobut thins and i also lie most often aobt how i am. Lieing is devievig so oyu cna call me a dicever (im telling you allthis so know one thinks i ma trying to condam thne and call the wrath of God on thme couse sister/brother im in the same sitnkin boat as you and im sink jsut as quick or quiker thne you) The thing is Jesus sadi "LEt you're yes be yes and you;re no be no" hes saying man dont lie. But why waht is the big probluj with a lie ever oence in a while? See the problum i think isnt the lie its self but waht it des to us. Some lies like my oh so consten hiow im doing one shows the inscurity of a peorn (what did i just realy call my self inscure.. stinkin) and there untrusting nature(wow im being pritty brutal with me tongiht) See when you lie aoubt how oyu;re doign your not trusting someone to have compasint and love and if youre me no litlte pitty party for you. And that can cosue a brake down with the body. (well get bakc ot this latter) and the other one it kills you;ere heart. See God wants us tobe blamles sand pure as He is (no he isnt saying tyou ahve to be perfect) He is saying though i want you to look at my son and use Him as an example. See have you ever heard the wolf story you knw the litlte boy who cried walf adn di it so meany tiem when it wants true that people didnt bleve him nad thne there awa s wolf adn well tunk for the kid he was dinner. Its the same thing God sayisns for my body to wokr people have to know that when you say no i dindt stell the cookies that you;e word is good that when you say yes i did this thy dont ahve to go chek and make sure. See its that God whean us to work in harminy and if you look at soemone and dont know if there word is good thne my finred what are you goignot do aobut it. What are you goignto do when you are that perons (stink thats me)

Ok and thne there trust ishues Se soem of us(cough me cough) have probllums with trsign peole. No matter how meany times people prove thme self s yto use we jsut cant trst them. THsi si hart ishue see the thing is it isnt a problum wit that perons but with you;te heart. MAbby its that you feall oyu ahve to doit to protect you;re self, or mabby people ahve let you donw befor, you'vee bene hert to much What ever it is its a heart ishue. See the thing is though not trstuing people leads to alot of problums. If you dont trsut soemone and so you ohld everinth in you will self implod emtional. (stimnk stink stink) Ill give itt to you like tihs. Ok its moivng day moving into a nice new aparment and you;re firned coemse over to hlep but you ahve trust ishues(i know no one has trust ishues so jsut imagin with me for the samek of my sanity) so you ownt let him well you hve to clim 3flight sf starts to get to you're aparment. SO in not trusting you;re frined to hlep you do it all on oyu;re own you climp the stars and one time you are geitng tired but you take 3 pockes with you well you;re at about the second floor adn you miss the stpep you start faling bkac worksds ther are dishing brake ing adn faling everware you;e head jsut got cre op ouch that was jsuy uou;re noze brkeing ther wen y you arms you here the ambulence sireind now ahhhhhhh cridical condtion. Some of you are sting ther goigny ou are an ideat that woudl enver happen. Hay gues what that is waht is hapending with you;re emtions you are caring boxa fter box after box adn you miss a step and cosue yuahve no one to cech you no one to hlep you you start falnga dn you dont sut fall you fallh hard. THe thing si we are abody and when one boady part says i cna do it al on my own it dons twork im sorry but you;re finger jstu cany smell nad you;re ear it realy donst tast food that grate and that foodt of you;re dosnt realy ahve na y siht waht so ever. You ahve perpose buty if you trsut on one els to do theres then thers a rpblum.

So some of you are stintg there goign kid you;re an ideat. You know waht i have the adasity to say tonhigh no im not the thing is some of you might be laughing at this goign ha ha peopl hwo do that are ideats. Well guess what ill beat you i cna find at lest one area in you;re life whare yu lie all he tiem. Wethat irs aoubt you, or ou;re firnds, or you;re family or waht ever els. Guys tihs is a batle one that we ahve to hit head on its easy to lie and it hurts to tell the truth. IT realy cna. Some itmes telling the truth wil get you in toruble some items it will mean you have to open up oyu;re heart and other tiems it means that you ahve to trsut. Lieing is easy truth is ahrd. THe things ifor us to prok together for us to be the comunity God desssinged us to be the people he wants is to be. We got to work on this. We are rusitng out the gears dn braking the bons bcoseu we are so scared of bieng hurt and so scared that peole wil see begin the mask and see we are flowed. If you are scared of that elt me tell you soemntihg you arnt alone ever one is imperfect and if you realy are that hard presed to find soemone who is imperfect coem talk to me cna tlka houres on end aobut my imptrefeciotn. Guy this who lieng thins thigs hoel protecitng our self is not worth the pain it has cosuesd us it never will be. Liugin isnt simpley a head ishues it cna be a heart ishue. Dealing with the inscurity of who wr are bieg scared of bbieng hrut. Adn mabby its time we open the cna of worms and start taing of that amks and leting the lies drop to the floor like flies and let soemone see beighnd them. Truth is a am a lier.... Truth is im not perfect....Truth is i wont you to tihnk iam.....Truth is i coudl tel lyou i am grate nad dandy ever sing fday of my life.....Truth is im broken ....Truth is ia need hlepwith the addiciotn of lieing and leting epolpe boelve a fasad....Truth is i need hlep. Am i realy that alone in this?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Guess things change

Here i am 12 am writing on this blog. Here i am thinking I'm going to write a blog called ware are the Christen and write as i start logging on i know its not what i should write about. I had examples and everything, well another day i guess. I guess this is what is being laid on my heart.

THe rock. The rock is tall the rock is high. But this rock is in the light the sun it feals so nice. It feals good to sit on its confertable. Some of you might now what im tlakinga obut others of you are thinkg you are crazy are you realy starting a blog with the rock. Yes yes i am. I am one who loves pictures i love wheni get images to go with alessiones someonhtig to learn. Any way the rock. I ahve to say i didnt make this one up a frine dof mine did but i love way thi anoligy works. Some of us have lived our hole lifes on the rock. Now you might mbes ainyg ok what is the rock. THe rock my friends is our confert zone. Whare we tell God i can only go thiss far only this far. The rock is ware we are confertable ware we feal saffe ware we cna say hay igot this im ok im safe. The rokc my firned is our confert zone. Whare evertihng in the world is altest going kinda our way and we feal like we fit. ware we feal safe. Some of youi might now what im tlakingaoubt you like fealing confertable. I mena ill be the first to admit i like being confertable and for em one way to make sure im confertable is to be waring my hat. Yes laddys and gentlemin the write of this blog who is way ofver the age for a blankey ahs substituted a blanky for wareing a baseball cap. I littel ware a baseball cap when ever i cna the only itme you wil kech me with out one is when i am at school, in sunday morning service, or at some nice event. I use my hat to hid my face wheni dont want the world to come in. I use tmy hat to remind me im safe. I use my hat to make my self feal ok. To some of you you are saying oh my lanta you are so stinkin lame. Before you say that thoguh think what is you;re confert item what makes you feal safe?

Ok so some of you are thinkg hay whats you;re piont whast wrong with the confert zone.Ok here is the thing with my hat my onfert item is this I have a tendincey to pull it over my face when im tlkaingaoubt my slef i let it hid me so that who ever im tlkaing to cnat tell how much im hurting inside how much this killls me how much i hate this. And that rokc it feals good so good and so warm., but both of thos things are pulling there rath and taking way waht we could experins. See i have this saying I probly picked it up ofmr someone along the line but hers ther htins You ahve the confert zone and thne you got the God zone. THey are completly diffrent THe God zone is not confertalbe the God szone is caoing you to have to jump out of you;re confert zone. See that rok that rock we sit on Is write in the midle of our confert zone. Its write in the dead center and all the water around it is th God zone. Some of us stand on that rokc nad say no its to confertable i dont want o move aka i like being top dog God i want contorl i dont want you to have contorl or I dont know how to swim aka God i dont trust you i dont knw waht ahad and that scares me, but i dont want to trust you or No i itnhk ill hjaust stay hear aka Im a laze bum and could care less what you wnat for me God. Al l of thos are trick things to slide into.

So its to confertable or realy. No God i want control, I cna handle my life. Listne im going to put this in the nices way posible. YOu are a hopless sinner who sohuld be killed. Hum that wasnt very nice, oh well. Listen Im ahopless siner wheo sohuld be kiled you;re a hopless sinner who souhld be killed dude ever one is a hopples siner that sohuld be killed. I odnt care if you;re a stay at home mom or a masmerder. You are a hopless sinner who should be killed. And you you have the guts to say no i got tihs. Man you cant evne save you;re self. YOu do get that iwt hout God you woudnt evne be hear wright? Adn you have the adasity the guts, the idocricey to say No i can do this on my own i dont need you God. What? Ok im goign to lay this out flat no no you cnat do tihs on oyu;re own. You know what doing it on you're own is going to put you? Its going to put you into a hole that you dont know how to get out of. Its going ot put you in the most hurtful place you cna be. Listn listn, you cant do tihs on you;re own you jsut cant. How menay tirm have you said you can do something on you;re own even the simplest things nad you messed up? I know i have done it time and times agen. The thing is we nat do it on our own. And my firned its time for you to get of that rokc and let God have control.

So you cant swim? Aka God Im scared I don't know what you are going to do and what will happen if i jump in that water. Im not sure i trust you. Any way God I'm not good enough Ouch see that one thats the one i struggle with. You know it was the end of my 8th grade year and my parents told me i was moving. I was mad at God and spent my first few mouth her miserable. THen something kinda crazy happened i started getting involved wit my Church , i joined the debate team at my school(don't bash it till you try it) and started getting friends. Now not even half a year latter i find my self involved in my youth group and loving it i find my self spending more and more time at church. You know We might not see ware we're going we might not know, but God does. THe thing is we don't know what is going to happened next we don't know what tomorrow will being, but God does. I know you don't know what will happen if you jump of that rock and i know its the stinking scariest thing in the world to jump of but the thing is you couldn't be in better hands. See nobody lover you more in the hole intier world. He dosn't want to hurt you. THe thing is that you cant be in better hands then in the hands of the Dude who made you. But um hello me yeah write. Mark Hall has an assume testimony. He is the lead singer of the band Casting Crowns and if you haven't herd his testimony there is a link at the bottom of this blog. Any way he has a part in it that He is talking about how he is saying things he's not smart enough to say and that there are days that he is sitting in his office saying " wEll this is it there is some comity in the church meeting write now and there going to come in her and say Brother and you know its bad wen they say brother we don't know what you;re doing and we don't think you know ether. And in those times God reminds me Mark If i had wanted someone els i would have called someone els Now you get up there dyslexic boy and you show the world what i can do with someone one who will let me use them" The thing is God is calling you off that rock with something and he is saying Name here if i had wanted someone one els i would have called some one els. Now yo get up there and show the world what i can do with someone one that will let me use them. Listen If God wanted someone els He would call someone els but hers the deal He is calling you. Not someone els. Its you he wants.

THen ther is the well I am cponfuey up here and i dont relay fell like being unconfertable. So I'm a soccer player. And low and behold im a Goly. Well the summer between 7th and 8th grade year i want to soccer camp at my school. Well we did goaly traing and let me tell you myfrined golay traning hurts like nobodys bisness diving for like 15 minets is not a fun thing to do incase you wanted to know. But you knwo what it paied of that year our team was undefeted and had 3 goals i think scored on us the hole year. Now that isnt due to me at all but when i did touch the ball that traing paid of. The thing is the things that are god for you are never that conftertable sorry ther not. I mnea come on realy if you think aoubt it anyinthg that is good for you huryts. And the thing is yeah it might not be the most conffertable thing in the world to jump of that rock but it is good for you. See its a good thing to let the God of the uivers the God who made you control you;re life. Yeah i know crazy consept write I mena its jsut out of this world. No not realy. But the thing is yeha it mightr be unconfterable a first or foe a long tim but the thing is its good for you its waht God wants to sue you for and His will is way better nth eoyu;re will for you;re life sorry but it is.

You know i dont know what you're exuse is. You might have one i havent talked about. But the thing is i cna garinty you this even if jumping of that rokc is unconfrtable, enve if you are scerd, enve if you dont think you are suted for it even if you tihnk you should be incontorl, you wont regret it. Ok go bakc with me to the time of midle school. Ok 7th grade first retre first camp i have ever ever been to.And i lived in Minssota and it was Feb. Ok so hears the deal By Feb ther is like tons of ice and everthing and its sitnkin frezzing cold. So i was up on the retre our band fomr our youth group was blaying up ther so it was iwked fun. Any way So saterday we are hanign out adn i see this thing the poler dip. Here is what it is the litterly cut a hole in the ice with a chain saw and thn thes two guys drop you in it let you get submerged adn thne yank you out. Thne you run oyu;re butt of to the sona so you dont die. Any way i discided i wnated to do it. It was scarey it was cold and oh my lant runing to the sona i felt like my feet might be bledding i was cold. Well I did it the next year i was up there. And guess what i will never ever regret i. It was unconfterable at the time but looking bakc i am so stinki glad i jumped off the ice and into the frezzing cold watter. Guys im not saying the water around this rock is nice and cosey, It could be i dont know. But for soem of us it si goingot e frezzing cold and were scared. Listne toguh once you jump off when the experinse is all done and over with you iwll not regret jumping of that rock. THe thing is when you get out of you;re conffert zone and into the God zone you are giving God the chance to use you you are alowing you;re self to fully dipend on Him adn you are letting Him have the rains and that is the best sdison of you;re life.

I'm scared out of my mind write now. i;m goingot tel lyou the truth. Write now i have God calling me off that rock and calling me to do someinth that i am scared todeath of doing. THat i am scareder thne scared of doing. THinking of it mkaes mty stomic tunr nad me want o jsut crnak up the musice louder so i odnt have to think aoubt it. The thing is i jut i have to jump. My name is on that rock and you knwo i have a firned hw isnt letting me stay up there any longer. THe thing is you guys im scared im so stinkin scared ubt i knw i got to jump i have to jump. God is calling you, He might call you to change the world, help the homples, to feed the hungrey, mbe a missionary, to start a Bible studey, to speak infornt of a group of people, to be loud aobut you;re faith, to tlakto the odl lady across the street, to give you;re tiem, i odnt knw what he is calling you to, all i know is that God is calling you. And my friends its time we all stop sitting on the rock and its itme WE JUMP.